Hiking Mt. Kinabalu, Borneo – the tallest peak in SE Asia

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The Things You Will Carry (or should remember to carry):

• Sunscreen
• Snacks for the 5 hour hike straight up
• Quick dry towel
• Knee Braces
• Great hiking shoes and thick socks to prevent blisters
• Cough drops
• Allergy meds for strange, unpredictable reactions to local vegetation
• Lots of water (drink untreated mountain water at your own risk)
• Warm Gear
• Toilet paper
• A headlamp (trust me – you will need this)

What you might feel on the hike up the first day:

A sense of peace, of order, of positivity, or do-ability.  You will see steps, rocks, slabs of clay, a path – all rising upwards at every turn, flat reprieves all but nonexistent.  But this will somehow not matter because you are existing both outside of yourself (as an observer of what you are accomplishing) and deep inside yourself (as a feeler of the smell of the air at each place on the path, the way the ground supports and sometimes shifts beneath your feet, the unsteady rhythm of your heart and the simultaneous steadiness – miraculously – of your mind.)  You may not have thought about this much beforehand – you may have followed others here on their quest.  But now it has become your quest and as the air thins while you rise higher, you drink in the oxygen in a sort of quiet ecstacy.

What you will feel when you arrive at Laban Rata, your overnight resting place:

A sense of accomplishment and secret pleasure at arriving before most of your friends.  You know this is no competition, but old habits die hard.  You will drink the complimentary tea greedily, warming yourself in the chill of the air at 3,500 meters.  You will feast on friend noodles and plantains after your warmish shower and feel – in so far as it is possible – reinvigorated by these comforts, especially since you know – but cannot at this point fully comprehend – what awaits you in 9 hours.

What you might experience when you go to bed:

-Your allergies are driving you nuts – you can hardly rest for your nose keeps running.  It is already becoming chapped in the dryness.
-Your throat is sore, desperate for the cough drops you should have packed.
-Your breath is deep – the tidal volume is much greater, as each breath – due to the altitude – provides less oxygen.
-Hour upon hour of sleeplessness while you hear the sounds of your friends dozing a few feet away.
-You will listen to your I-pod, targeting the most yoga-like music in hopes of sleep.  Still, it will evade you.
-You will arise at 2 A.M. with the other 60+ climbers attempting the summit, and you will break down in hysterical laughter and sobs – simultaneously.  You are a bundle of nerves, exhaustion, and anticipation.  Your emotions are pretty schizophrenic.
-You quite literally stumble down stairs to the cafeteria where you scarf down two pieces of bread and some tea.  At this point hunger is the furthest thing from your mind and you are only eating to sustain your hike.  It is an effort to choke the food down.

What you will see at night:

A sky so full of stars that you swear you’ve never seen anything like it.  I didn’t even know so many existed.  The sky was like a Lite Brite after you take all the pegs of an intricate design out, left only with the light beaming through hundreds of holes.

How you will feel on the Summit climb:

You did 6 km. and 1,600 meters or so of vertical height yesterday.  Today, you are leaving at 3 A.M. and have 3 hours to reach the summit by sunrise – around 6 A.M. That is 2.7 km. and 6,000 meters high away.

You start out in pitch dark – you did not bring a headlamp and are kicking yourself now.  You are relying on the scatters of light from other people’s headlamps and the kindness of your friends offering some light.  You nearly trip every few seconds.

You climb up, up, up what feels like interminable amounts of steps.  Your guide urges you – “slowly, slowly” – the mantra of this trip, but you want to race up and get it over with.  Even if you could speed up the process and race forward with your legs, your heart and lungs would abandon the effort.  For you cannot physically do too much at this height.  The air is thin, it is too dark, and you know pacing is paramount.  As Maria, and Robert Frost, said – you have “miles and miles to go before you sleep.”

But you cannot think about that fact.  You must be present in every moment – not only to prevent injury, but to mentally sustain yourself.

You might not be able to do this alone.  Not reaching the top is not an option, so you might need to find people to work with.  J and  became the people.  We worked together to reach the summit.  We would keep psyching ourselves up for each step.  We would have to pause, winded, every ten meters or so.  We encouraged each other with positivity and kept taking breaks to regroup, blow our noses, drink water and watch the amazing star-studded sky.

You will find yourself in another place.  You won’t be able to fully explain with words what this means.  The closest you will be able to explain it is that you will become another person for this part of the journey.  It’s as if your normal, regular self is not strong enough.  You need a super self to step in – a self of iron.  You might hardly recognize this steely self.  There is no gripping, no desperation, no waiting for it to be over.  This super self finds energy to move forward, and generates kindness and compassion to spur your friends on in their journeys.

Almost as it if never happened, at the top – after 3 hours – you are suddenly yourself again, and you are watching the sun rise from the peak of Mt. Kinabalu.  The light is coming up and the view from the top is indescribable.  You sit in the frigid air, nose dripping, thankful the wind has let up somewhat.  You thank the mountain goddess – the Chinese widow – for the tenth time, for allowing you to safely make it to the top.  You have prayed to her to the whole trip and you will continue to do so on the way down.

But first, just take it all in.  The future will happen soon enough.

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